June 2015 Poems “A Cats Twenty Two”

Catch-22 is a satirical novel by the American author Joseph Heller. He began writing it in 1953; the novel was first published in 1961.

So the CoolTan Arts show takes the inspiration of sataricalness and uses the slightly changed name Cats-22 and launch an exhibition in their gallery that looks at the cats and cats looking at

Tom & Gerry              Catoon-cat-01

Sasha Dee


Tom was a tomcat and. His real name was Thomas

He was territorial and always

Had his tail swinging and purred that sounded like a whimper


And Gerry was a lap dog and her real name was Geraldine

She was a fluffy decorative poodle dog

And occasionally barked that sounded like a sob                   Gerry-dog


They should be living happily as their one time actress owner

Pampered over, love and best food that money could buy.


But for Gerry the life was very difficult

(Whenever the Lady of the House

Went out partying as she was a party girl

And was in high demand from likely friends)


Tom was up to his game and in his elements

He would slowly purr that would go on increasing

In volume like a broken record stuck on the needle

And Gerry would become restless and get sucked

Into the corner of the plush cushioned settee and

Keep trembling with near nervous break down


Then Tom would jump down from its soft basket

And mew that would sound like a cry of a buzzer


And Gerry would be restless come out of the corner

And run hither and thither trying to jumping down

But would not make as Tom would wander down

Like a marching roman soldier with his spiky spear

Poor Gerry would be sweating her tongue lolling out

Dripping saliva and wetting the soft cushion

And eventually leaping down and running down

And hiding in the wardrobe that would have left open


And every time the lady of the house found her in the state

She realized the naughty behaviour of Tom

So she fixed a collar around Gerry that would react

To the sound of purring and mewing of Tom

Into a loud roar of a tiger then it become the turn

Of Tom to shake with nervousness and whimper

Go back quietly to its basket and sleep with “z”

With its tail all curled around making him into a ball!



A Cat on the Fiddle and Its Progress

Sasha Dee           on-the-fiddle-marjorie-mclean


A cat

Sat and sat

Sat, sat, sat and sat

Until he went into the catnap

In his snooze

He was hallucinated

And saw


As the part of that famous painting

Of Van Gough’s bedroom

And lying on that chair

Catching forty winks


It had a few “z”

And his head sucked in his neck

And paws drawn in making

Himself just like a

Woolly ball


And felt the night fall fell

All around him and he saw

Cats on wings flying around

Naked like the wicked statue of

Eros with his bow and arrow

Shooting him from all directions

And some catty cat feline

Stark naked caressing him

With her feather of wings

And like a fairy flying around

And stroking its tail and snuffling

With heavy breathing


The cat found that was dangerous

And he was going to be all tied up

He wanted to break all bonds

And be free as a bird


And a colonel cat with the thick

And long whiskers

Came to his aid as if

A real cat’s whiskers

And brought him down to the earth


And he saw a huge figure like a lion

A catbluuuuuuuuu shining like a demon

It was so frightening that

The Cat fell down into a flowerpot

And got all its hair stood likes spikes

That was a hair rising experience for the little cat


Then he saw himself multiplied in many frames

A catalogue of Andy Warhol of himself

Like those Heinze Means Beanz tins or

The King Elvis Presley or Merlyn Monroe


That made him very dizzy

And he saw the red eyes of cat-woman

And yelled from the root of his stomach

And woke up from his hallucination


He realized that it was because of

His nightly raid on the dustbin and wastage area where

He found an half vomited LSD tablet

And that he chewed up!


Huff, Puff and Stuff


Huff, puff and stuff

The scary cat Dog

Scared of a cat,

Thou shall not pass

I’m the master of

What you think you are.

Man’s best friend

Can’t fend for himself

While masters away,

Whereas I sit proud

While you cower beside

Like jelly, not setting

Like Jelly on a Plate

Charlie Browne

Mans Best Friend

Dogs dinner,

Dog and bone,

Dogs knackers,

Dogs body,

I could go on

Dear friend,

Dear Cat but

Know you’re envious

The cat that got the cream

The cat that sat on the mat

But ultimately

You’re only a cat, and I,

I’m man’s best friend Charlie Browne

A Cats Tail

Great To be a cat

Lying around

In the Midday sun,

Nothin’ a doing

Chasing some string

Around the empty house.

A creek here

A creek there

Scrambling about,

Should really investigate

It’s their domain

It’s their patch.

Then out of the corner

of the “CATS EYES”

A blur of grey

A tiny shadow of a figure

Had the audacity

So watch this space.

Quick as a flash

Like a praying Mantis

The cat pounces,

Then back to the string

With a tail hanging out

The side of the cat’s mouth


Charlie Browne



Cooltown Cats


It’s Coolhome for a space cat,

Yes, that’s the place where it’s at-

I love my furry four legged friends

It’s lovely to watch how he bends

They come from way up there,

And landed here as part of a dare,

It was a wicked thing I must say,

When I tried to drown poor pussy I did,

I lifted the barrel, and opened the lid,

It went under-giving a mighty squeal,

A sound so loud it was not real.

The cat keeper caught me in the act,

And so it did die, that’s a fact-

But they were space cats,

Programmed to kill inter stellar rats,

And not let themselves die from too much wet,

Anyway this is as bad as it can get.

The Cat keeper scolded me badly.

And all I could do was assert “Sadly,

I’m programmed to kill even the coolest cats-

They in turn are programmed to kill the smartest rats

So you are programmed to kill me”

“That’s the idea!” quoth he; “Let’s see”-

En Guard- defend yourself now, say I

Now it’s your turn to die

This adventure included cats, rats and bats

And at the bottom of the pecking order were the gnats

So if I refrain from even killing a space cat,

We can all stay alive and get fat

And get our life in order and off pat


Brian Ring


Cooltown Cats: Part 2


And we’ll all purr, meow, preen, and pet on this mat,

The space cat with one almighty sigh declared

“It is time now for me to die.”

In fact all I did was to beam up to the ship.

And swallow a highly technically advanced silver chipwell

He was a space-cat from another world

He had come here only to leave his slog unfurled,

And declare that we were part of the new

Feline Space Declaration,

And sign up for the new concatenation


Brian Ring




There they found what they thought

Was a cat in the garden

Took another look,

And saw it was a lion cub,

And produced a stick as a club

To shoo it off into the wild,

But they need not have bothered,

For he was as tame as a pussy cat,

His mother must have given him up for good.

And so he was desperate if only,

For a simple meal of bread, milk and meat,

There was no explanation

For what he was doing there.

Or where he came from

But he was of a nervous disposition,

And for some reason he had lost

Some of his basic instinct.

He was a wild cat. But it took another

Tame one actually, a real cat to tame him.

The allegedly wild cat, that was cowardly

As a chicken, dastardly as

a wolf, and yet the same cunning as an ape-

The mystery of his provenience was

None resolved by the Astro-Zoological expert and inspection-

He was from space and had landed in

The backyard having been thrown about by the steersman

Of an unidentified flying object as superfluous

To requirements and only good for being fetishism

Brian Ring


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